Hanging On By A Thread

"I think I can, I think I can," has been running through my head all day. Who am I kidding? It's been running through my head for months. Being a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, is not always a walk in the park. Don't get me wrong, there are many many minutes throughout the day where I'm reminded just how blessed I am or how much I'm loved. There are also those other minutes in the day that are straight up hard!

My twin boys are 19 months and they are beautiful, talkative, silly and INTENSE little kids! Tantrums run daily, a meal for mommy before Noon is a miracle, grocery shopping is awesome, bath time is like sumo wrestling and night time wine is mandatory. There are days where I have no idea how I will survive. Recently I was at a 6 year old's Birthday party in a park. It was a beautiful day and my friend did a wonderful job making the Spider man Birthday party perfect. It's not easy chasing 2 little boys around a park. Even with help! Meltdowns began and I could feel the stares of the other mom's. "Keep it together" I kept telling myself. I gathered up our things and tried to sneak out early. My best friends mother quietly asked me as I was leaving if I was OK? "Yes," I said, as I tried not to cry.

We're constantly trying to keep ourselves together, take good care of our children, put healthy food on the table, keep our marriages strong and sometimes we just need a good cry in the bathroom! Or in my case, a best friend to bring you your favorite bottle of wine for no reason, an Aunt who offesr to come watch your kids while you run errands alone, a mother who brings you coffee on Friday mornings or a husband to take the kids for a walk before dinner so you can cook with out 4 legs hanging on you.

We flew to Lake Tahoe this past weekend to spend time with my In-laws. The flight there was awful. The 3 hour drive to the lake not so much better. On our way home, we were determined to go into the flight with a better game plan. As we boarded the plane, I looked back at my husband walking down the isle with one of the boys and there was poop running down his leg onto Nick's arm. OH. MY. GOOD. LORD. I immediately went into survival mode. I grabbed Jacob and went straight to the shoe box sized bathroom. The one without a changing table of course. Poop was everywhere. For those without kids, I will spare you the details. Let's just say that they held the doors open so they could get the diaper off the plane.

So many times we don't know how we will make it. We feel like we're hanging on by a thread. Some of us pray, some cry, some are simply brave enough to laugh it off. I do know one things for sure. I prayed for these boys before they were ever in my life. Then I was blessed with two. On the days where I don't know how I will survive, I remind myself that I was blessed with them for a reason. Someone knew I could handle it. Even when there's food all over the kitchen floor from yet another meal that they didn't eat,  or 2 little boys with fevers, or a sick mommy plugging through the day, we are blessed to have our children in our lives. They are the best gifts I've ever been given.

So So Good To Me

Yesterday morning, I was bound and determined to be supermom. I wanted to go to church, yet I needed to go to the store as well. To most people, this would be no big deal, but it's not so simple when you've got two! Nick was working a moving job that started at 7:00am in Hood River, so I was flying solo. The boys and I were out of the house at 8:15am, we arrived at Fred Meyer and I threw them both in the grocery cart knowing I had exactly 20 minutes (I got quite a few glares for having a child in the main section of the cart. Ask me if I cared. I don't normally do this, but everything's fair game when you're in a hurry). When we were almost finished, I noticed Jacob has eaten a quarter of an avocado. I quickly wiped off his green face with my sleeve and discreetly hid the half eaten avocado in with the watermelon. We managed to get to church on time and by the time I sat down in my seat with my cup of coffee that I look forward to on those church filled Sunday mornings simply because I know I actually get to drink the whole cup, I was wiped!

The last song we sang woke me up. I'm pretty sure I was standing, singing, yet asleep with my eyes open. It went like this:

I waited patiently upon the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
You are, SO good to me
So So good to me


These two little men are proof of how good He is.

More please

Nick and I have been working on manners with the boys for the past few months. Simple things, like "Please" and "Thank you." Today was a bit of a rough day. Two boys plus 3 incoming teeth equals quite a few tears and tantrums (from all 3 of us). Jacob however, decided to be spectacular. While having a snack, he repeated me in saying "more please" (moa-pees). Knowing nobody was going to believe me, I quickly grabbed the camera and prayed we had memory left so I could attempt to take a video. Here it is people. I feel as though I've done something right. He said Please.

Please ignore his hyperventilating and my begging him to say "more please."

Our 1 Year Old Cuties

We had the great privilege of having my friend, Amber from college, take the boys 1 year pictures in our backyard. Amber is an amazing photographer and she lives in Wasilla, Alaska with her family (she also has twins). She was in town visiting her sister and she took time out of her visit to photograph our family!! Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't in the greatest of moods that day, so there were a few more individual shots of Liam looking a little happier than his brother. I promise I'm just not choosing favorites!

Our Travel Adventures

 The boys are 15 1/2 months old now and they are WILD!! Last month, my parents were brave enough to let the boys and I join them on a trip to North Carolina. My brother, his wife and their daughter joined us from Virginia and we had 7 days of fun! There was 1 major missing piece to the puzzle...Daddy! Nick couldn't join us and we missed him every day!

Traveling to and from was a nightmare. NIGHTMARE. On the second leg (Denver to Newport News, VA) I looked over to see my mom lay her hand gently on my dad's arm (he was holding Jacob) and they closed their eyes (not Jacob of course) and she prayed for a better flight. The first thought that came into my head was "um...hello!!! What about me?! I was the one who took a child into the closet sized bathroom on the airplane so I could lose my composure without the judgements and glares from strangers!" Instead, I reached over and held my dad's arm during the prayer. We were very grateful that he listened and the boys were much better on that 2nd leg. We were also very grateful that they sold half bottles of wine.

North Carolina was beautiful. We spent many hours at numerous lighthouses, sightseeing, playing at the beaches and enjoying the company of family, whom we don't nearly see as often as we wish we could. I loved spending time with my niece Izzy, who is a ham! Her and the boys started interacting a lot more this trip, which we all loved to see. My mom would give the boys breakfast every morning so I could get a break. My dad was an amazing help with the boys in Nick's absence as well. This was really a trip with so many memories made that I will never forget.

 Liam super excited to be at the first lighthouse

 Jacob and Izzy at our first lighthouse

 Grandpa and his boys

 Beach Buddies! If you only knew that Jacob's on the verge of tears. He had to warm up to the beach.

 "Come on brother, let's set her free!!!"

 Group shot!

 Mr. Liam never stopped walking around when he wasn't confined to the stroller!

 I just LOVE this picture and the windy hair!

 Go Jacob Go!

 Proud Gramma & her sweet girl

Jacob finally warming up to the beach

We had this beautiful path to walk along the sound

 

 Loved my time with my brother!

From Babies to Boys

It's been a while since my last post. I had a feeling when I started this blog, I may go months without an entry. One thing I can say for certain, the past 13 months have flashed before my eyes.

Jacob and Liam turned 1 on February 2nd. I promised myself that I would not throw a big party. "Something small," I told my husband for months leading up to the special day. Whoops. Although we did just invite my cousins, Aunt, Nick's mom and our closest friends, it was anything but small. For anyone who knows me, a small and simple party just isn't my thing! So, the boys were loved on and spoiled with a Curious George bash!

 Out to lunch on their big day with GG and Auntie Alicia

 Jacob LOVED his cupcake!

Liam was a little skeptic 

 Their Party

We all survived the 1st year!!

Since their first birthday, Liam has started walking. He loves to clap clap clap as we cheer him on! Jacob has turned into quite the Mama's boy and will walk when he's good and ready. They play together under the kitchen table all throughout the day. Liam will play with anything, treating it as a ball. Tupperware, a shoe, wooden spoon, he'll throw it and simply "be." Jacob will follow him around and steal whatever his brother's playing with. Yes, we have some teaching to do.

It feels as though they have grown into little boys in the blink of an eye. It fills my heart with such intense joy. In the midst of any struggles we go through, their sweet giggles are enough to get me through.

Here are some recaps of the past few months.

 The boys and I had a picnic at Laurelhurst Park a few weeks ago. They were very handsome lunch dates!!