For Roine

I had no idea how to start this entry. I knew it needed to be special. I looked back onto my previous entry, dated 11 days ago, and the title was "Tis the Season to feel Blessed." The word "blessed" stayed in my head. Then it came to me. Only 11 days ago my adopted grandmother Roine, wrote on my facebook wall the following message after seeing the photo of my boys sitting on Santa's lap; "Oh Emily! How you are blessed! There certaintly is a God to have blessed you so. They are absolutely perfect and you are such a good mother! How would we ever have known that you three (you, Nick and God) would be given such a gift. Good job. Love Roine. 

2 days ago, Roine passed away.  My neighbor, adopted grandmother and mother to My mother. Her family was ours. Still is and always will be. She was an example of a beautiful, faithful and loving woman. The example she led was extraordinary. 

When I was 6 months pregnant with Jacob and Liam, I went into Premature labor the day of my baby shower. Later that evening, while I was in the hospital and after my mom opened my gifts so everyone could get a glimpse of the baby blue presents people had purchased, I was told that Roine had said the prayer during my shower. I felt an immediate gratitude and sense of comfort. I knew my babies would be ok. Growing up, there were a few times when I needed a little comfort. Roine's hug never let me down. 


Tonight, as I put my 2 boys to bed. I plugged in their night lights. Their baby shower gifts from Great Grandma Roine. Shaped like an angel, it reads "An angel is watching over you."

 Roine meeting Jacob & Liam for the 1st time

Tis the season to feel blessed...

I've been thinking a lot lately back to last year at this time. 2 baby boys, growing inside of me. Wondering if I'd be able to carry them all the way to the dreaded 38 weeks (full term for twins). Praying that they'd be born big and healthy. I felt very limited last December.  Not only was I put on bed rest over Christmas, but I couldn't eat sweets! I think that was more difficult than the bed rest itself. My friends and family came to my rescue, bringing Nick and I meals, magazines, movies and flowers. Loved ones always checking in seeing if I needed anything.

Fast forward 1 year...no one can prepare you for a world with twins. It's amazing, exhausting, awe inspiring and straight up crazy at times. I'm finding myself more excited for this Christmas than I ever have before.  Last night the boys sat on Santa's lap. I watched in delight as Jacob grinned and Liam's lip quivered and the elves tried to make them laugh. I kept thinking to myself, "you should just be trying to get them to look at the camera at the same time! Forget trying to get them to smile!!" There are so many things you think about when you know you may never be able to have a child. For me, I wondered if I'd ever see mine sit on Santa's lap for the first time. That moment, one of many I've already had with Jacob and Liam this year, was perfect.

After that Santa visit, we ventured on over to see the big Christmas tree at Pioneer Square, then went to Macy's where they have a pretty awesome North Pole set up.

Have a little faith

Over the past week, I have felt every emotion humanly possible. On Thanksgiving, we learned that my oldest cousin was in the ICU with Pneumonia. Unable to breathe on her own, she was on a breathing machine and severely sedated. As each day passed, unable to communicate with her family, we prayed. We prayed hard. I have never in my life prayed more, sang so many worship songs with tears in my eyes, forced the fear from my bones and believed that my faith and the faith of my loved ones would be enough to help heal her.

I simply started doing the only thing I know to do in a crisis...bake! In the kitchen I went, with the boys in their exersaucers and their smiling faces to remind me of joy. Every time I would let fear overwhelm me, I reminded myself of one thing...faith. I remembered a sermon I sat through a few months ago, the topic being Fear and not letting it overpower you. I would also at times (a lot actually) text my mom to see if she had any updates. More than once she would write back just one word..."Trust."

Yesterday we received the best Christmas gift of all. Andee woke up. I had a dream the night before where I was sitting alone in her room in the ICU and all of the sudden her eyes popped open. I found out a few hours later that she was awake and on the road to recovery. I'm so thankful for my family and the lesson I've learned through this. Always have a little faith.